To the ‘Public Disordar’ club night at Camden’s Black Cap, for a Burns Night.
Celebrating Pete Burns of Dead Or Alive, of course. Currently in the Big Brother house; an absolute tonic. Some people have gotten in a huff about his fur coat, and the police were even called in to check the coat wasn’t a former member of an endangered species. Given the alarming reports of stabbings in London, I’d rather the police concentrated on protecting endangered human beings.
Meet up with Marc Massive Ego, whose club it is:
To the Camden Head for Martin White at Short Fuse. MW excellent: his song The Excitement Is Over At Last is a catty Sondheim-esque gem, along the lines of Could I Leave You from Follies.
Chat to Rob S and Lou FK, charming company as ever. Get a little drunk and silly with it, though more harmlessly (I hope) than the tedious heckler who was a pain in Simon Munnery’s set. Enjoy the ultra-skinny host, Nathan P, who’s sorted out his hair and trousers since I last saw him; from scruffy poetry geek to slick and sexy Franz Ferdinand-type. Also on the bill are a brilliant young comedy-magician duo called Barry and Stuart. The tall Welsh one who does most of the talking looks, again, like he’s in some sexy rock band.
I’m noticing this a lot lately. Not that I’m enjoying ogling sexy young men any more than usual (though I have been pretty lonely of late), but that people working in non musical mediums often seem like they’d rather be playing guitar in the Kaiser Chiefs if they had the choice. Possibly a grass-always-greener sensation. Novelists, artists, film directors, actors, all seem to be musicians manque. One artist told me he’d give his paintings up if he could change places with a member of a big rock band.
Book Publisher: You look like you should be in a band. There’s more fun and money being in a band, you know.
DE: (sigh)
People who look and dress like they’re in trendy indie bands, or wish they were in bands:
Cillian Murphy, rising Irish actor
David Tennant as the new Doctor Who
Russell Brand, comedian / TV host
Noel Fielding, comedian (The Mighty Boosh)
David Cameron, new Tory leader – Smiths fan, incredibly.
Tony Blair – failed prog rock musician
Jonathan Caouette, director of Tarnation – would be busking in NYC if he knew how to play (never stopped many)
Scott Heim, author of Mysterious Skin – failed rock drummer.
Daniel Handler – bestselling author of Lemony Snicket books – accordionist
Conan O’Brien, US chat show host – drummer who once lent his kit to Galaxie 500
The list of comedians who appear to want to be in bands is particularly extensive. I’m reminded of Bill Hicks’s pointless musical interludes.
A male thing, perhaps? Then I think of Smack The Pony’s baffling musical sequences.
Film directors, actors and comedians envy musicians.
Musicians envy directors, actors and comedians for appealing to more people across the board, and having a longer-lasting career.
Musicians are at best a soundtrack to something else – a film, a story, a commercial for furniture (Suede’s She’s In Fashion on the recent MFI adverts – the ultimate resting place for bands?)
Storytellers wish they were musicians.
DJs are the saddest people alive.
I need to work out what the hell I’m meant to be doing with my life. I am 34.
