Rent the DVD of Shaun Of The Dead. An absolute gem of a film, and I don't even like zombie movies.

At Archway Video, deliciously, it's several times more popular than Mr Gibson's Passion Of The Christ film, which kept it off the UK #1 spot at cinemas. Months later, I have to wait a week for a rental copy of SOTD to be free, while DVDs of POTC remain noticeably unloaned upon the shop shelves. Jesus is not for renting.

For Archway Road, SOTD is a local concern. The pivotal location, The Winchester pub, is based upon The Shepherds, now The Boogaloo, the nearest bar to this computer. Mr Pegg and Mr Frost, the film's stars, used to frequent the pub when they shared a flat in the area. The sole reason for the name change in the film is a plot device necessitating the acquisition of a Winchester rifle kept above the bar. The next pub along Archway Road from The Boogaloo is also called The Winchester, but this is an absolute coincidence which no one believes. Such is art.

I've read reports connected with the film that The Shepherds is now a theme pub or "gourmet pub", a description which really needs correcting. This was certainly many people's impression of The Boogaloo when it started, including my own. However, <a href="http://www.beerintheevening.com/pubs/comments.shtml/21/" target="_blank">anyone going there now</a> will tell you the theme corners have long since been knocked off; its gourmet menu, if there was one, indefinitely shelved. I think it's fair to say The Boogaloo has acquired its own lived-in character and soul, its own friendly, laid-back attitude. Perhaps a little of the Shepherds spirit has even percolated through from the walls. It's not The Shepherds anymore, but neither is it a soulless gourmet pub. Put it like this, The Boogaloo made the likes of me its First Ambassador. You can't get much further from "gourmet" than me.

The other day I was physically dragged in there by one of the regulars as I passed the building, who refused to let me NOT pop in for a drink. He's also an old Shepherds regular, so I mentioned that Shaun Of The Dead depicts the pub's previous owners John and Bernie as zombies. He thought I was joking. It's true. The zombie landlord gets a memorable scene in which he is beaten rhythmically about the head with snooker cues to Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now", before being thrown head first into the jukebox.

"Blimey. Did they make Henry (the Shepherds dog) into a zombie too?" he asked.

"No."

"Ah well." As if the film-makers missed an important trick.

I'll write more on Shaun Of The Dead another time, but for now, here's the answer to a Frequently Asked Question. I am indeed in the film as a zombie crowd extra, though you have to play "Where's Wally" to spot me. To save your eyesight, <a href="http://www.fosca.com/dickon-of-the-dead.jpg" target="_blank">here's the appropriate vidcap.</a> (Thanks due to Mr Chipping).

After looking over my old diary entries from 1997, written before the coming of blogs and Livejournals, a sense of nostalgia for my own writing has convinced me to switch the default comments box setting to "Screen All". Nostalgia for a website – it was always going to happen.

This is purely for aesthetic reasons: feedback is still very much welcome. The change will, I hope, loosen up my writing a little and render it more unguarded, more personal. As personal as I get, that is. Also, the screened box is a quick method of sending me a private message without resorting to email, so it's not as if I'm cutting myself off from the world.

===============

Watching the Mercury Awards ceremony on TV. Franz Ferdinand are wearing make-up and suits. They look fantastic. I'm so pleased they won.

Of the other performances, Belle and Sebastian's Stuart Murdoch is singing confidently and faultlessly, with in-ear monitors, while his band are polished and perfect. Quite a difference from the nervous, sometimes inaudible 1997-8 concerts.

===============

My thanks to all the kind readers who sent birthday wishes. I spent the evening of my 33rd anniversary of woe at How Does It Feel in Brixton, posing for photos with a copy of The Secret Garden. Met some people I've known on and off for a decade or more: Amelia and Rob from Tender Trap, Ms Claudia Gonson from the Magnetic Fields. Justin Pearce, who is now a MF fan and so was delighted to be introduced to Ms G. Greg from the Razorcuts / Sportique also wished me a Happy Birthday, which was terribly nice of him.

Jennifer Denitto's present was to drive me all the way home – something which I really treasured. Night buses are starting to prove such hard <i>work</i> for me, particularly at the weekend. It's the noise – teenagers carrying on their parties on the bus. Nothing new, so it must be me who's changed. No escape. The bus stops at every possible stop, crawls, stops. Crawls, stops. Interminably.

On a recent night bus trip, I had two girls sitting next to me, one on the other's lap, while they exchanged drunken banter with their red-cheeked male counterparts, drinking but not yet shaving. After a while, the girls grew tired of their seating arrangement and both decided to squeeze themselves onto my seat, pushing me up against the glass. Not even asking me if I minded. I didn't say anything, but I was in hell. At least on tube journeys one can switch to a different carriage. With night buses, I increasingly feel one is at the mercy of the less meek and the more drunk. It's a terrifying combination for a fragile fop old enough to be their slightly peculiar uncle.

Last night – with Mr Wren Gullo to the reopening night of the club Electrogogo, at the invitation of host Mr Mark Moore, once of S-Express.

The venue is called Zoo and is off Leicester Square, so one has to brave unwelcome attention from a few tiresome men in order to gain entry. Ms Sam, in her skin-baring French Maid From Hell ensemble suffers the most as we gather outside. I never understand how such men think. Do they honestly imagine they're going to meet with a favourable response?

Inside, Zoo turns out to be underground and MC Escher-like: chrome, neon, space-deceiving mirrors, unexpected changes in levels. A bizarre canopy festooned with lights covers the main bar. Two live acts on the stage. First on are The Modern, arguably the most 80s-like band I've ever seen. And from my gig-going lifetime, that's saying something. One keyboard player even does robot elbow dancing. Excellent pop songs, and a thoroughly enjoyable live act. I learn that the female singer is also a working actress, just back from filming a Miss Marple with Geraldine McEwan.

Then it's the turn of Mr Steve Strange, a genuine 80s New Romantic icon if ever there was one. Spiky black hair, semi-realised skeleton suit, Janet Jackson radio mic, more physical and macho than I'd expected. Looks a little like Mr Numan does these days. He performs a few of his Visage hits, ending with – what else – "Fade To Grey". This is a 2004 remix, accompanied by a young vocal group called DV8. Two boys, two girls. None of whom can have been born when the song first came out in 1980. Never mind that – one boy looks like he can't have been born when S-Express had their first hit.

Catch a nightbus from the stop on Trafalgar Square's east side. The stop has four hours to live. <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/3643654.stm" target="_blank">At 6.40am a dust cart ploughs into it, putting two people in hospital.</a>

Last Wednesday – the Boogaloo Movie Quiz. My previous attempt at hosting any kind of a gathering was my birthday party in Ipswich 1990. About 3 of the 30 people I invited turned up. In the end the four of us just sat around morosely and watched Vic Reeves's Big Night Out like the good college students we were. I've never hosted a party since, birthday or not. Like Miss Havisham at the altar, I can take a hint. Unlike her, I hasten to add, no vengeful feelings upon malekind were harboured. Even back then I'd learned to resist that particular daily temptation.

So for this film quiz fourteen years later I ask nine people to come, being a selection of film fans, London social butterflies, or both. This way, even if the 1990 party trauma repeats itself, I reason, I'll still be left with a respectable team size. I also impose a slight dress code: dress stylishly, make an effort, and on no account wear trainers. We may not win the quiz, but at least we could win in the Most Stylish Team In The Room stakes. To make our mark further, I bring a vase of fresh white lilies. As Mr Wilde says:

<i>"White lilies, in whose cups the gold bees dream,
The fallen snow of petals where the breeze
Scatters the chestnut blossom, or the gleam
Of boyish limbs in water, – are not these
Enough for thee, dost thou desire more?</i>

In fact, all nine team members turn up, plus Ms Ruta brings Mr Atomic:

<img src="http://www.biggerboat-filmquiz.co.uk/images/SEPTquizPic12.jpg"></img>

[photo by Mr Hupfield, from the <a href="http://www.biggerboat-filmquiz.co.uk/" target="_blank">quiz website</a>]

Clockwise from front: Mr Atomic, Ms Ruta, Ms Andrei, Ms Mann, Mr White, Mr Kennedy, Ms Welch, Mr Edwards, Ms Frost, Ms Madison.

It's just as well the organizers aren't strict on team size. I feel a bit guilty that we are occupying seats while some teams are forced to stand. Still, I am the quiz guest of honour, invited by the organizers to form my own team and see what I make of their event. They have no need to publicise the quiz among my readers – it couldn't be more packed – but they do want to read my take on it.

Although I'm a regular at the pub – indeed, I'm the place's official First Ambassador – I've not attended the movie quiz till now. This is partly because I've not been invited to join anyone's team, but mainly because the films featured tend to be popcorn blockbusters with lots of guns and explosions, which aren't really my cup of tea. I do not know the locations of Executive Decision or Sudden Impact 2, nor can I recognise the theme tune to Mortal Kombat.

As it turns out, the quiz is vastly enjoyably even if one's knowledge proves wanting. A general sense of fun prevails, with the tying winners decided by a game of Scissors Paper Rock. The two organizers, Mr Hupfield and Mr Williams, let their personalities fall into an agreeably entertaining yin-yang double-act – the grumpy one and the cheery one. Though both are equally charming and kind, even sending a drink to my table. I am quite touched.

Another tension-disarming element of the quiz is having all the questions subtitled upon a large screen especially provided for the occasion. Keeping a packed pub absolutely silent while questions are read out can induce a certain stress, and might even suggest a pub quiz is meant to be taken terribly seriously. The use of subtitles loosens up this element considerably, so the air of playful nonchalance remains unfettered.

The screen is also used for rounds featuring movie posters and trailers, and for celebrity questions. On this occasion, we have a bemused and be-jet-lagged Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughan obligingly addressing the Boogaloo, presumably filmed by a film journo friend while the actors were doing the London press for that new film they're in, whatever it is.

As you've probably gathered, Dear Reader, I turn out to be not much of a team player. More a sedentary cheerleader, content to provide moral support. Although I do know a few answers, not least which musician appears in O Lucky Man, I don't think I provide anything exclusively. For instance, Mr White not only knows about O Lucky Man but can recognise the poster for "BASEketball", my ignorance of which is unlikely to trouble me between here and the grave. With his suit and scarlet cuff links, Mr White personifies the melding of gentleman style with impressive movie trivia content. Mr Kennedy bought new shoes especially for the occasion. The others are elegantly turned out in black dresses, or in Ms Ruta and Mr Atomic's case, their usual takes on self-fashioned anti-fashion.

Our team includes a lecturer in film studies, a worker in the best video shop in North London, and a DVD reviewer for a glossy magazine. Despite this and our outrageous team size, we come joint seventh. But that matters little – I enjoy myself immensely and book a table at the next quiz in October.

As far as I'm concerned, it's not the winning that counts. It's the taking flowers.

Today is my 33rd birthday. I share it with Charlie Sheen, Princess Michael of Kent, and the outbreak of World War Two.

Tonight I shall be celebrating or commiserating this tragedy at <a href="http://www.howdoesitfeel.f9.co.uk/club.html" target="_blank">How Does It Feel To Be Loved</a>, the Brixton version. All are welcome to join me.

Between now and then… what? Seems a vaguely pleasant day. I may go for a long, long walk and consider things.

This time last year I went to Crystal Palace Park to look at the newly-restored <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/london/yourlondon/crystal_palace/virtual_tours.shtml" target="_blank">Victorian Dinosaur park</a>. It was something I'd been meaning to do since childhood, when I'd been excited by photos of the stone beasts in books. I finally got around to meeting them last year, though they seemed not as large or as impressive as the images I'd carried around in my head for decades. The restoration made them look too clean, too new. The rest of Crystal Palace Park is a museum in absentia with only two Sphinxs, the staircase and a solitary statue surviving from the original Palace.

Visiting this place alone on one's birthday turned one's mind to gloomy metaphors. Adulthood as a desolate park, slightly out of the way of where Life really goes on, consisting of a handful of relics from the past, the spaces where the past used to be, and nothing else. The mossy, unrestored remnants are intact but forlorn, and suggest failure. The newly painted, rejuvenated artifacts should suggest coping with the present, but in fact engender desperation and disappointment. Adulthood forever failing to live up to the publicity.

Yet, thinking further, the dinosaurs can become joyous and idiosyncratic tributes to the past. They are steeped in factual inaccuracy. But they're stylish mistakes, entertaining mistakes, personal mistakes, original mistakes, created as they were by the man who invented the very word "dinosaur".

Unlikely, incongruous, improbable, ridiculous, pointless, useless, possibly disappointing in the flesh, but ultimately I'm glad they exist.

This, then, is the way you find me thinking about my life this morning.

I'm often told I should just "grow up". I regard this as the equivalent of receiving a postcard from Hell, saying "Having A Horrible Time. Wish You Were Here."

It's just as well I find being gloomy and alone enormously enjoyable. Yet I also love chatting and dancing in clubs and bars with friendly company. I am a sociable recluse. One should always be able to have one's Victorian Dinosaur cake and eat it.

Feeling a little better thanks to downing as much anti-flu medication as one can without moving into the realms of overdose. When one awakes shivering like Scott of the Antarctic, then sweating like Lawrence of Arabia an hour later, it can all be rather frightening.

Typically I had some actual work due in today. An introduction to a new edition of Jerome K Jerome's Idle Thoughts Of An Idle Fellow. It's been out of print for 20 years, only available in audiobook until now. The book is effectively An Audience With Mr Jerome and often reads like the transcription of an 1886 stand-up observational comedy routine. One section is titled "On Cats And Dogs". Jerome K Jerome – the Victorian Eddie Izzard.

The book was written three years before "Three Men In A Boat", which instantly made Jerome rich and famous. "Idle Thoughts", however, is very much written from the point of view of someone holding down an office day job after surviving bouts of genuine poverty. In the book, this tempers his haughty epigrams comparable with the best of Wilde, with humanity worthy of Dickens.

The publishers of this new edition are suddenly keen to get the book out as soon as possible, given the new trend of Idleness that’s starting to appear in the news. The French bestseller lists are dominated by an anti-work charter, Bonjour Paresse. Italy has held its first National Convention of the Idle, declaring Idleness to be a sign of intelligence rather than a vice. In Britain, Mr Hodgkinson, editor of The Idler, has published a heavily-researched, semi-historical manual, How To Be Idle.

It’s all done with a certain amount of humour, naturally, but there’s some serious points made about idleness as an existential, even political act. In these desperate times of feeling At The Mercy Of Others, whether it's uncaring employers, politicians or TV producers, a little deliberate idleness can be no bad thing. If there's nothing one can do about things, sometimes the only option is to indeed do nothing – but on purpose. Idleness should never be confused with default laziness or characterless apathy – Idleness has style.

Wake up freezing and shivering like mad. In late August.

I suppose this means I've REALLY got the flu.

Feel awful – summer flu has gotten around to me. I snuffle and sneeze and sweat and sob uselessly into the Highgate night. All very boring.

Still, my vanity is fuelled – and therefore my well-being – by glancing at the collaborative on-line comic strip <a href="http://www.caption.org/caption-cgi/hello.cgi/phoenix/" target="_blank">"The Picky Picky Game"</a>. This is run by <a href="http://caption.org/" target="_blank">CAPTION</a>, the annual alternative comics convention based in Oxford.

The Harlequin Shrimp-owning character is based vaguely on myself, from the time I posed for a book cover as a man walking a pet lobster. He's now being drawn by Mr Gullo in the US (<lj user="tzarohell">) as well as by Ms Dennis (<lj user="cleanskies">) in the UK. Myself as Transatlantic Virtual Muse. Needless to say, I love the attention. There are ancient tribes who believe being photographed steals their soul. I feel that happening if I am <i>not</i> photographed. Likewise being drawn or painted.

Here's another D.E.- inspired comic character, again by Mr Gullo. This time, a demon with six fingers. The creator says he was originally going to give the demon character two mouths, but he "rather likes my mouth as it is…".

<img align=left src="http://www.fosca.com/destruction.jpg"></img>

London is currently in the grip of one-off heavy showers. This is the way London should be, of course, except that it's still quite warm. I have to keep opening my window to get some air into my stuffy little room, then close it again when great balls of warm water batter in. One regular background noise is the sound of car alarms set off by the more violent bouts of precipitation. What a simile. Never mind raining cats and dogs. It's raining like car thieves.

Sat in the Boogaloo yesterday nursing a sullen Magners. Have started to wear charity shop ladies' silk scarves instead of ties. They feel and look so right on me that I can't believe I've not worn them before. The joy of putting on new clothes that feel as if one has worn them forever, like a reunion of twins separated at birth.

I realise this now makes me resemble either a theatre director or, I'll be the first to admit it, Quentin Crisp more than ever. Still, if the caprice fits, wear it.

I do wonder if Mr Crisp's fame is starting to dim and slip from view, five years on from his death. I recently met a tender teenage transsexual from New York, and he'd not heard of The Naked Civil Servant. Being famous for Being rather than Doing is all rather well while alive, but if one wants the fame to continue after the grave, one has to leave something lasting. A life story can only last beyond death and, more importantly, beyond reprinting, if the subject itself has lasting work to back them up. <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0330391852/dickonedwards-21" target="_blank">There is a recent chunky biography</a> tracing the lives of Crisp and another London "character" best known for his persona, Philip O'Connor. But like Mr Hoare's book on Stephen Tennant, I shouldn't think it'll stay in print for very long. There's only so many people who are interested in reading biographies of dead fops. And I know all their names.

Mr Crisp did publish two perfectly enjoyable but quickly out-of-print novels, "Love Made Easy" and "Chog". The latter is a grotesque gothic fantasy now doubtlessly comparable to Lemony Snicket. Typically, it sold well in Japan as a children's novel, but nowhere else. With Mr Crisp, there's no Dorian Gray, a novel familiar even to those who've never read it. There's no Importance Of Being Earnest, the most performed play in the English language after anything by Mr Shakespeare. Without these two works, I doubt Mr Wilde would be as immortal as he is now, trial or no trial, quote books or no quote books. Likewise Ms Parker and her poems and stories. There has to be art to point to. And it must still be in print.

The Boogaloo wasn't too packed that Wednesday evening, even though it was a day when two different BBC Radio 1 programmes mentioned the place, according to my little friends. I only ever listen to BBC London and Radio 4 myself. It transpires the pop quiz this week was attended by some shouting DJs I have heard of but could never recognise even if I were in the same room. Which I was. Mr Moyles, Mr Mills, Ms Bowman. They turned out to be amusingly bad losers, ranting on air the next day about the difficulty of the quiz, between playing Hear'Say records and holding competitions to win trainers, or whatever it is they do for a living.

Both Stephen Tennant and Hear'Say are celebrities forever trapped in their respective slices of time. Both have out-of-print biographies on Amazon.co.uk. <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0140165320/dickonedwards-21" target="_blank">Used copies of Serious Pleasures currently sell for £20</a>, while <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0233999418/dickonedwards-21" target="_blank">The Making Of Hear'Say is yours for 10p</a>. People speak of "the price of fame", but as Mr Amazon has declared, there's different prices for different types of dead fame.

There's a newsagents in Archway where one can still buy Hear'Say birthday cards. Ars longa, vita brevis.

Further to my previous entry, here are some sample questions taken from previous editions of <a href="http://www.biggerboat-filmquiz.co.uk" target="_blank">the Boogaloo film quiz</a>. These should help to give an inkling of the sort of knowledge required. My thanks to Mr Hupfield for providing these.

I was going to say I'll post the answers in a few days. But then I realised this is the Web. <a href="http://www.google.co.uk/" target="_blank">Google</a> is but a click away.

*****
<b>Name the films with the following taglines.</b>

1. A world inside the computer where man has never been. Never before now.
2. The creators of JAWS and STAR WARS now bring you the ultimate hero in the ultimate adventure.
3. The Night HE Came Home!
4. Don't close your eyes.
5. These are the Armies Of The Night. They are 100,000 strong. They outnumber cops five to one. They could rule New York. Tonight they're all out for…
6 – It's not who you love. It's how.
7 – Love. Expulsion. Revolution.
8 – A nervous romance.
9 – Can two friends sleep together and still love each other in the morning?
10 – Can the most famous film star in the world fall for just an ordinary guy?

<b>General knowledge questions.</b>

1 – What is the name of Holly Golightly's cat in 'Breakfast At Tiffany's'?
2 – Which actors play the Devil in the 1967 original and 2000 remake of 'Bedazzled'? Point for each
3 – Which of these Jon Voight films is the odd one out, and why? Point for film, point for reason
(a) Midnight Cowboy
(b) Mission Impossible
(c) The Champ
(d) Anaconda
4 – In which of these films does Jack Black not appear?
(a) Waterworld
(b) The Never Ending Story III
(c) Kingpin
5 – Who plays Prince's love interest in 'Under The Cherry Moon'?
6 – What are the names of Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslett's characters in 'Titanic'? Point for each
7 – Which five films have been nominated for this year's best picture oscar?
8 – Which two singers star in the 1976 version of 'A Star Is Born'
9 – How many Oscars was 'Gone With The Wind' nominated for, and how may did it win? Point for each number, point for each one of the winning categories you can name…
10 – What's the sequel to 'Love Story' called?
11 – Who directed the 1968 and 1996 film versions of 'Romeo & Juliet'? Point for each
12 – Which actor links 'A Nightmare On Elm Street', 'The Astronaut's Wife' and 'Chocolat'?
13 – Who plays the 'Hollow Man' in the film of the same name?
14 – Which actors played the character Valmont in the films Dangerous Liasons and Cruel Intentions?
15 – Who plays Scarlett Johansson's husband in the film 'Lost In Translation'?
16 – Who is playing 'Alfie' in the remake of the sixties classic?
17 – Which actors have played the vampire Lestat? Extra point for film names.
18 – Who directed the 1998 remake of Hitchcock's classic 'Psycho'?
19 – In the film 'Blade', what is Blade's first name?
20 – Who played Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band in the film of the same name?
21 – How many Bob Hope/Bing Crosby 'Road' movies were there? Point for the number, point for each title.
22 – Who wrote and directed 'An American Werewolf In London'? For an extra point, which film was he working on when he wrote the original script?
23 – Who directed both the 1972 and 2002 versions of 'Solaris'?
24 – Which actor links these three films? The Big Lebowski. The Talented Mr. Ripley. Twister.
25 – Two actors turned down the role of Neo in 'The Matrix' prior to Keanu Reeves. Who were they? Point for each.
26 – In the 'Nightmare On Elm Street' series, who plays Freddy Krueger?
27 – In the film 'O Brother Where Art Thou', which actors play the following characters: Big Dan McTeague; Ulysses Everett McGill; Delmar O'Donnell; Penny Wharvey; and Pete. (in order, please)
28 – Who directed 'The Empire Strikes Back'?
29 – Who played IMF leader Jim Phelps in the big screen version of 'Mission Impossible'?
30 – Gangster epic 'Road To Perdition', science fiction comedy 'Men In Black', quirky indie drama 'Ghost World' and adult animation 'Fritz The Cat' have what in common?
31 – Name Britney Spears's film debut.
32 – Who played 'Trapper John' McIntyre and 'Hawkeye' Pierce in the 1970 movie M*A*S*H? In order, please.
33 – What do Gollum and Joy Division producer Martin Hannett have in common?
34 – 'Blame Canada' from 'South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut' was nominated for the 200 Best Song Oscar. Who performed it at the live event?
35 – What is the name of O.J. Simpson's character in the 'Naked Gun' trilogy?
36 – Who or what is Kes in the film 'Kes'?