{"id":1738,"date":"2010-03-28T22:07:28","date_gmt":"2010-03-28T21:07:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dickonedwards.co.uk\/diary\/?p=1738"},"modified":"2010-03-31T02:43:31","modified_gmt":"2010-03-31T01:43:31","slug":"the-vanity-of-shyness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/archive\/the-vanity-of-shyness\/","title":{"rendered":"The Vanity Of Shyness"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Saturday evening. To a house party in Harringay, near Turnpike Lane, hosted by Robin &#038; Ellen H. They invited me to their wedding a few years ago, where I was seated at the same table as Alan Hollinghurst. I didn&#8217;t say anything to him, as nothing suggested itself other than, &#8216;I&#8217;ve read your novels. They&#8217;re very good, aren&#8217;t they? Well done!&#8217; Except if it happened again now I suppose could talk with him about Ronald Firbank, and how I was pleased he chose the out-of-print writer to be in the National Portrait Gallery&#8217;s Gay Icons show last year. It was a slightly confusing title for an exhibition, because while it featured icons chosen by famous gay people (like Mr Hollinghurst), the icons themselves didn&#8217;t have to be gay. So Ronald Firbank ended up in the same show as Elton John&#8217;s choice, the England football manager Graham Taylor. <\/p>\n<p>At the house party, Ellen serves up champagne with vodka-soaked raspberries. It becomes quite crowded, and after chatting to the small amount of people I know there (the hosts, Alex S, Tammy H, Jamie M), I slip into my usual mode of standing by myself against a wall, feeling awkward and strange. As much as I like parties, I&#8217;ve never been very good about going over and Joining In with someone else&#8217;s conversation  &#8211; it feels bad mannered, even presumptious. So I stand there, hoping vainly (in every sense) that someone will come over to me instead. It&#8217;s one reason I take to DJ-ing so easily. DJing is also being aloof and passive and standing near a wall, but in a controlling way, and with a reason. On top of which, you have something to cling to.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Saturday evening. To a house party in Harringay, near Turnpike Lane, hosted by Robin &#038; Ellen H. They invited me to their wedding a few years ago, where I was seated at the same table as Alan Hollinghurst. I didn&#8217;t say anything to him, as nothing suggested itself other than, &#8216;I&#8217;ve read your novels. They&#8217;re [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[126,285,286],"class_list":["post-1738","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dj-ing","tag-parties","tag-shyness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1738","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1738"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1738\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1743,"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1738\/revisions\/1743"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1738"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1738"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1738"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}