{"id":119,"date":"2003-04-12T09:36:00","date_gmt":"2003-04-12T09:36:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"-0001-11-30T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"-0001-11-29T23:00:00","slug":"the-art-of-attracting-unsolicited-ejaculations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/archive\/the-art-of-attracting-unsolicited-ejaculations\/","title":{"rendered":"The Art Of Attracting Unsolicited Ejaculations"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I read with great interest the discussion in the comments box of my previous entry. <\/p>\n<p>Please note I have a blanket policy of never deleting anyone else&apos;s comments on my diary, even if they ask. <\/p>\n<p>Doing so ultimately looks like one can&apos;t take the heat, so to speak. Not to mention the height of hypocrisy for someone who admits they love being talked about. It&apos;s also vital to know how other people see me. I can usually learn something useful, often about myself, from virtually every comment.<\/p>\n<p>My bottom line, and indeed, the line of my bottom, is as follows.<\/p>\n<p>I accept, and am grateful of, my seemingly innate talent to attract unsolicited ejaculations of all kinds. Some think I&apos;m God&apos;s Gift, some think I am the Devil. I can&apos;t take either seriously, of course, though if pressed I will always prefer the company of the former because they&apos;re simply less draining. <\/p>\n<p>Last night, I was standing at a Kentish Town Road bus stop on the way home from the excellent club &quot;Mole In The Ground&quot;. A passing group of about eight boys on bicycles shouted &quot;Get him &#8211; he&apos;s wearing a nice clean suit!&quot;, and threw a full carton of &lt;i&gt;milk&lt;\/i&gt; at me. This surreal tableau is, I presume,  what constitutes a drive-by shooting in the World Of Dickon. <\/p>\n<p>The carton missed me completely. My detractors have always been such rotten shots. Perhaps they should have skimmed it. <\/p>\n<p>Instead, it hit the window of Lloyds Bank behind me and exploded, leaving a big semen-like mess dribbling down the sign of the Black Horse.<\/p>\n<p>Symbolism in action.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I read with great interest the discussion in the comments box of my previous entry. Please note I have a blanket policy of never deleting anyone else&apos;s comments on my diary, even if they ask. Doing so ultimately looks like one can&apos;t take the heat, so to speak. Not to mention the height of hypocrisy [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-119","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=119"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=119"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=119"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dickonedwards.com\/diary\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=119"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}